What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

After a few moments he returns.

Sure no problem officer.

What is the irony of life according to you?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

What are some possible reasons for an unfaithful spouse to not confess their affair to their partner and instead end it without telling them?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Yes sir it is.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

{RING} {RING}

Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Did you swallow cum the first time you sucked a penis?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

HELLO